There was a recent article posted by the NYT that I have seen floating around a lot lately, so of course, I definitely have to share it with those of you that still follow this blog. It starts out with the question, "Is she your only child?" Talk about a stab to the chest! It's such an easy question, yet so difficult for anyone that has children in Heaven. I struggle with the answer to that question daily -- especially now that Samuel is involved in more activities where I'm meeting other moms on a constant basis, etc. I always appreciate when I find articles like this. Please take the time to read it *here*...
On another note, have you heard about the new movie, Return to Zero? I'm SO, so glad they reached their funding goal! In order to finish production, they had to raise $50,000, and they did it! Based on a true story about a family that delivers their first child still born, it's definitely one of a kind. I look forward to seeing it when it hits the big screen, and I hope even those that haven't experienced such a great loss takes the time to see it too -- so that you can get a glimpse into the world of those that have. It really is amazing how much face time this subject has gotten over the last several years. I feel like after we lost Jacob, I couldn't really find much out there that talked about what we were going through. I remember finding one group online of baby loss moms, but there were only a handful of people there and it wasn't even active. However, by the time we were grieving over the loss of our daughter, Olivia, more and more moms were becoming vocal on a large scale and look where we are now...a major motion picture, NILMDTS, Faces of Loss - Faces of Hope, etc. There is SO much out there for those walking this path. I'm thankful for that. You definitely don't feel as alone...
Speaking of Faces of Loss - Faces of Hope, I finally hosted my first Face2Face meeting here in El Paso -- or should I say, I had planned to. We finally had enough interest here locally, so I scheduled a coffee date for this past Wednesday. However, I ended up being in the local Children's Hospital ER all evening with my son, so I wasn't even able to attend. Luckily, Samuel is FINE, but they were close to admitting him due to his severe wheezing, so an hour before the coffee date, I had to let the other ladies know that I wouldn't be there. I felt terrible about it, but when I heard back from one of the other moms, it made me smile. She said she felt kind of stupid walking around the coffee shop asking if anyone else was there for Face2Face, but she eventually ran into someone that she enjoyed talking to. While this particular lady wasn't there for the group, she did end up wanting to talk. So this mom was able to share her story with someone about her sweet angel. What a blessing! I can only hope that nothing crazy happens when I plan the next coffee date!
And with that, the last thing I wanted to mention is a bit odd, but I can't help but bring it up. Do any of you believe in orbs? I've seen them in pictures frequently, but never in a video. And honestly, I don't know how much I believe in them as much as some people do, but I couldn't help but think about it the other night when they showed up in a video of my son, Samuel. Perhaps because it was late at night, or the fact that I'll find any reason to find a sign that our 3 are with us...but when I noticed them in the video, I had to watch it several times to make sure I really was seeing those little dots float across the screen. And if I did, what were they? So, of course, Jacob, Jordan, and Olivia were constantly on my mind the rest of the night. I mean, I can't tell you how many times since Samuel was born that he has looked at specific locations (where nothing was there) and it was as if he was having a conversation/laughing/staring/etc. So why not? While I may have you totally convinced that I've jumped off the deep end, I can't help but wonder...
Here's the video of the crazy Sam-man refusing to go to sleep. I was sick and exhausted so he won some movie time while I laid down in his bed...
I hope that you have no more scary incidents for your next Faces meeting! That's great that the other mom was able to connect with someone though. I'm sure your GA gals miss you :)
ReplyDeleteSO glad about Return to Zero getting the funding. It will be hard to see, but I look forward to it and hope that they do a good job portraying the complexities of grief and losing a child. I think that because it's based on the directors real life - it will help bring that truth and reality to the screen.