Splitting Off...

So, never mind the fact that sadly I'm not very active on here anymore, I decided to split off onto a new blog for many of my posts. I realize that homeschool-related posts have kind of taken over. What was once a grief-related blog after our daughter passed away, then turned a baby book for the Sam-man and a sad attempt at one for Thunder, it now seems to be all school-related. Sooooo....if any of you would like to jump on over and see more homeschool posts, deals that I find, and more FREE printables, join me at....

This Crazy Homeschool Life of Ours

and

check out the Facebook page

10 Years...

As of August 9th, James and I have been married 10 years...10 crazy years. It's hard not to look back and think of all that we've been through during that time. Getting a crazy puppy named Obadiah -- a dog that has been there with me through EVERYTHING. Moving away to Germany for 3 years to start what now looks like a career in the Army. Excitedly starting our family, only to then say goodbye to our first son, Jacob, as we prepared for our 1st deployment. Visiting various countries and exploring countless cities while living overseas. Losing what we thought would be our rainbow (Jordan) almost as soon as we found out we were pregnant -- all the while trying to adjust to our new home in WA as we prepared for our 2nd deployment. Getting out of the Army and finally finishing my degree in psychology, while also buying a house in our hometown. Almost immediately turning around and getting back into the Army, resulting in the attempt at selling a house in a terrible market. Preparing for our 3rd deployment when we were surprised by the insanely exciting news of our pregnancy with our daughter. Later experiencing the horror of losing Olivia while James was away in Afghanistan. Trying to cope with the crazy grief that is what life's like when you have 3 angels in Heaven and nothing more. Moving to GA in hopes of a fresh start and break from deployments. Immediately being shocked by the news of our 4th pregnancy, bringing a whole new level of anxiety and fear yet incredible hope. Enjoying the fact that because of the move to GA and job in TRADOC, James had finally been home more than he'd been away in our whole marriage. Getting further into photography and actually making it more than a hobby. Experiencing the indescribable feeling of joy when I heard our son, Samuel, cry for the first time. Finally getting to live life with a child here on Earth -- in our arms! And now living in TX and enjoying life with the little man that is ever changing as each day goes by...

All the deployments. All the field problems and other various months away thanks to the Army. All the road trips and various vacations. The good times. The sad times. The incredibly tragic times. James has been there by my side through it all. I am so thankful for the relationship that I have with him -- one that will never break or fall apart. One that only gets stronger through each experience that we face together. I love that man and I couldn't imagine my life without him in it!

So with that being said...

James got a 4-day pass and we decided to get out of town with the boy. Due to the heat, we sent Obadiah on his own vacation at a local doggie daycare -- otherwise he would have joined in on the fun, too! As usual, the only hotel we booked in advance was for Obadiah. We just packed some clothes and a cooler of water, got our atlas, and drove. That's our preferred method of travel when doing road trips. If we see something interesting along the way, we stop and check it out. That happened to be the case this time around with Tombstone, AZ. We hadn't even thought to go there, but when we saw the exit for it, we thought what the heck, why not?

I suppose I should also mention that with our anniversary on the 9th, we continued a little tradition of ours. On our wedding night, after all the festivities had ended, we were starving and decided to order pizza. For whatever reason, we have continued that each year. We still like to go out for a nice dinner out, but on our actual wedding anniversary, we always continue our cheesy little tradition. This year was no different. On our way out of town, we stopped at our favorite place in Las Cruces, NM and enjoyed some NY style before continuing on. Good times.

So with our traditional dinner knocked out, we headed west. Samuel thought it was AWESOME being able to run around the hotel room and explore every nook and cranny. He even did his crazy dance in excitement.

(like this...)

The next day, we checked out Tombstone, AZ, had In-n-Out in Tucson, AZ (a first for Samuel!), and agreed that we have to come back to Phoenix at some point after having a quick stop and seeing all that they have to offer -- I mean, come on...they have an Ikea among other things! Ha. We continued on towards Sedona, AZ, but ended up making an unexpected stop at the Montezuma Castle National Monument first. It's so fascinating to see such historical marks! After we learned a little more about that area, we arrived in Sedona, which was BEAUTIFUL! (Thank you to those that recommended us stopping there!!!) After taking a little hike through one of the state parks within the Sedona area and letting Sam run around, we ended our night in Flagstaff, AZ. Considering the fact that the only place I've visited in AZ before now was the airport, I never realized all that it has to offer. Flagstaff reminded us somewhat of a mix between the PNW and the town we went to college in. We loved it!

With that under our belt, we headed on to the Grand Canyon the next day and spent the morning there. Since I still haven't gotten around to taking Samuel's 1 Year pictures, it also turned into a mini photo session for the boy. Talk about a beautiful background! We really lucked out, too, as the rain didn't hit until after we were heading out...

Since we couldn't just stop there, we headed on north towards the Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument. However, before getting there, we checked out Bryce Canyon. As we were walking up to the first scenic view, James said, "Is it bad that I almost think this is more beautiful than the Grand Canyon?" Ha. I couldn't help but agree with him. Talk about indescribable beauty! We probably spent more time there than anywhere else. We loved it!

The Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument didn't end up providing as much entertainment as expected since we didn't bring the truck. Apparently, you can only get to most of the points of interest by a dirt/sand road that is impassable when wet. So considering the fact that we didn't have our truck and the storm clouds kept coming and going, we didn't want to risk it. We tried at first, but ended up facing a flooded road, so we turned around. The last place I want to get stranded is in the middle of nowhere! It was still beautiful and provided a connection to the next best thing -- Capital Reef National Park.

I feel like a broken record talking about the beauty behind all of these national parks. Utah should just be deemed as one massive national park -- that's pretty much all you do is hop from one to the next! We thoroughly enjoyed each park, and I'm so glad we decided to hike to Hickman Bridge while at Capital Reef. Minus being a genius and hiking in sandals that lack any kind of grip at all (resulting in a cut up knee and toe after slipping on a smooth rock), it was a great experience to get up there with Sam. James refused to use the Ergo so as to avoid a scene that bordered looking like abuse since Sam flips out if he's confined in any way shape or form, so he had the pleasure of carrying him all the way up there. We got such a kick out of watching Sam enjoy the ride, as he laughed and talked all the way there -- as if to say, "This is fun guys! Let's go further!" Then on the way back down, he slowed down and eventually fell asleep on James' shoulder -- it's hard work being carried! The sweet boy.

I wish we would've had more days to explore, as we would've gone even further north into more national parks...such is life. We'll just have to go back! We had a wonderful trip and created many great memories with the little man. I'm so glad we were able to go there as a family. While Samuel won't remember any of it, he definitely enjoyed himself in the moment!

I posted pictures to my Facebook page here, but if you're not on FB, here are a few...

Sam's favorite part about being in a hotel -- the phone. He kept picking it up and saying, "Ah?! Ah?! Ah?!"

Loved Sedona!

Sweet Sam while in a park in Sedona...

Appreciating the view at the Grand Canyon...



And the freedom after being in the car! Running in any direction we'll let him...



This might substitute as Samuel's 1 Year picture. It was crazy bright and sunny, but it's the closest we'll probably get to a posed picture for awhile ...



Loved the view...



Samuel counting the states that he's been to...



The happy couple...



Bryce Canyon...





Sweet boy...



By far, the best part of the trip!



On our way back after trying to get to one of the arches in Great Staircase Escalante National Monument...



Love it...



Samuel enjoying a break...



I sure wish that boy would be willing to keep his hat and sunglasses on for longer than 30 seconds...



Some of the many cows that blocked the road throughout the trip...



A family picture...



Father and son while in Capital Reef National Park...



Loved the hike to Hickman Bridge...

Enjoying being the only ones in the area...

Another family picture...

Enjoying the view and the new toy...



It just doesn't get any better -- the view, the peaceful silence, time with family...



Love these boys!



What an amazingly memorable trip with my boys. I'm so thankful that I have them. I'm thankful that after 10 crazy years, James and I get to celebrate together vs. over the phone like in the past thanks to the Army. Now on to the 11th year and many more experiences to come -- hopefully more happy than sad. The last year was full of so much joy -- I hope it stays that way for awhile! Heck, we're in a non-deployable unit, so we've got a few things going in our favor right now...

Anyways...here's to 10 years of marriage and many more to come!!!

LiveMore Photography...

So as I think I mentioned in a previous post, I'm stepping out a little more with my photography. It will most likely be a very slow process with how crazy life has been lately, BUT I'm excited to see where it takes me. I gave in and set up a Facebook page for it after doing the two photo sessions over the weekend. I mainly set it up so that those two families could see their photos before I was able to get a disc to them, but perhaps I will utilize it a bit more in time. Who knows. I realize that if I really want to get serious about this, I will need to set up a website. Hmmm. Maybe that will be my goal for this upcoming spring. Maybe? I suppose we'll see if I get any interest from those here locally. Who knows what the future holds, right? Either way, I'm excited. Whether it's just shooting for friends and family, or if it leads to clients outside my circle...I'm game. I just love being behind the camera. My only hope is that those that I take pictures for are pleased with the finished product...

So with that, feel free to go check it out!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

Has it really been that long since I've been on here?! A lot has happened since the last time I blogged...Samuel turned 4 months old and had his well-baby exam, James turned another year older, Samuel experienced his first pumpkin patch AND taste for solids, the three of us spent another day up in Atlanta, and we went to a Bible study for the first time since moving here (big step!). So much to talk about, but not enough energy to do so. It was definitely a great week overall.

I have one minor vent from the last week that relates to our grief -- resulting from attending that Bible study -- but I'll save that for another time. It'll just make me mad all over again and that's not the best way to start a new day. I will say this...I miss our old Bible Study in WA! While we still had similar struggles and, like this one, it was hard to attend after Olivia died, the study was MUCH more in-depth!

Okay, enough about that. Perhaps one day soon, I'll elaborate on my frustrations. Until then, I will continue on about how wonderful the last week was for our little family. First off, yesterday was the hub's birthday. Seeing as how he doesn't care for celebrating birthdays at ALL, he took the liberty of changing his birthday on Facebook and then proceeded to hide it so no one would wish him a Happy Birthday. He knew no one here locally would know about it and most would forget if they didn't see the little reminder...strange, I tell you. Not that I want ridiculous amounts of attention on mine, but I won't go out of my way to avoid it, ha. Either way, it seems as though he had a good day. I mean, after all...he had little Samuel here to celebrate with him! That's much better than years past! Having a birthday over the weekend gave us the horrible excuse to eat out more than we should and shop. Good times. Happy Birthday, Jamie!!

I suppose I can't forget about the fact that on James' Birthday, Samuel had his 4 month well-baby exam. The poor boy...he was fine until he got those evil vaccines. I still can't get over how BIG Sam is! He is now in the 75th percentile on height and weight! Geez! Here he was in the 50th percentile at 2 months and now even higher than that -- our pediatrician said that, considering he was a preemie, he definitely caught up and THEN some! Here's all 14lb 12oz and 25in of him...

His 4 month chair picture...

A boy and his dog...

What'd you say???

Love the little half-smile...

Watching Obadiah's every move...

On another note, our Atlanta trip was fun. We hit up Flip Burger again. If you're in Atlanta and you haven't been, you're missing out! I think we had our daily calorie intake in one meal, but it was worth it.

Waiting for our food...

Okay, a little bored while impatiently waiting...

But it was worth the wait. After we devoured our gourmet burgers, we had to get dessert. We typically never order dessert when we're out since we never have room left, but we couldn't resist. Who can say no to a 'Burnt Marshmallow and Nutella' or 'Key Lime Pie' milkshake? Heaven, I tell you...absolute Heaven!

After lunch and a little shopping, we checked out Piedmont Park. We've made the attempt on previous occasions, but it always ended up being gloomy or rainy. Luckily, the sun was shining this time, so we got a couple pictures of the family minus Oba. Oh, poor Obadiah...

Towards the end of our walk through the park, we found a swing in front of a peaceful lake. Samuel enjoyed his time on the swing by chewing on his new favorite toy -- James' finger. That's right. When Sam is in James' arms, he always grabs James' finger as a teether...

It was soon after our time in the park that we decided to head home and save Obadiah from the cage. Of course, we jumped right back up the next day and took Samuel to a local pumpkin patch. I have to say, they're much different in the South! Instead of walking through the field and picking your own pumpkin out, they're already stacked up on tables ready for purchase. Where's the fun in that?! Oh well. It's at least fun to walk around and get pictures of the little man surrounded by the seasonal decor. Granted, I didn't realize until we got there that my memory card was in the Mac, not the camera -- total bummer!! Here's Sam via my cell phone...

With a memorable holiday weekend behind us, it's now on to creating more baby food! During Sam's well-baby exam, our ped recommended that we start introducing solids -- both cereal and veggies. So...we went grocery shopping...

Let the fun begin. Samuel's first sampling after rice cereal ended up being sweet potatoes...

I think it's safe to say he liked it!

Sweet Oba doing his own thing while we watch Sam react to his new food...

Well, now here I sit...Samuel is officially 18 weeks old today and we're just four days away from the official Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. What will you do to honor and remember our sweet angels? If interested, check out www.iamtheface.org to see how you can show your support...

Face2Face...

For anyone that happens to live near Columbus, GA or the Ft. Benning area in general, we will now have a Face2Face Group of our very own! Thanks to those at Faces of Loss, there will soon be groups in several cities across our country for those that have involuntarily joined this sisterhood of BLMs.

For anyone that happens to see this and lives in this area, we would love for you to join us! So far, the meeting times and locations have not been determined, but once they are, we will put it on the Facebook page.

It's amazing to see the support out there for those of us in this situation, as more and more speak out. Hopefully there can be strong friendships built through these groups!

A Balloon Release For Our 3 Angels...

After a great night spent visiting with my dad (I rarely get to see him), I ended up spending some time on the phone with my mom, too. We haven't been able to catch up that much since the move, so, as you can imagine, we were on the phone for quite awhile! (Thank goodness for free cell-to-cell minutes, ha!) Well...of all the things that were brought up, we got to talking about one particular event that recently occurred that meant SO much to me! So much so that I felt the need to get on here and blog about it...

With falling so far behind on this blog due to the move and getting settled, I never got a chance to mention this in depth. However, it's fresh again in my mind so better late than never!

As some of you are aware...October 15th is the official Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. As this day passes each year -- ever since we lost our first son, Jacob -- we've always lit a candle in his honor (and now our other two, as well). While we've always made it known to others what this day represented, we've never expected them to follow suit and light a candle of their own. I mean, if they did, I would TOTALLY appreciate it and it would mean the world to me, but I would understand if they didn't.

Well, this year was very different. Much to our (huge!) surprise, we found out via text with pictures attached that my mom decided to do a balloon release in honor of our three angels! How incredibly thoughtful and SO sweet! We were both shocked when my mom texted us pictures of this event, as we just couldn't believe that she did this for us -- we just never would've expected anyone to do something like it! It still brings a smile to my face when I think about it. I just love that she did this in memory of our babies that we miss so incredibly much.

When I received the pictures, and soon found out the whole story behind it...I don't know...it just melted my heart (and I think James' too, even though he may not come out and say it, ha.). Come to find out, she called around to several family members so that she could gather those together that were available -- including sisters (with the nephews and niece), cousins, etc. Due to busy schedules, only a handful were available, but that didn't matter -- even if only one was available, it still would've been just as great!

So once she got that handful of available family members together, they went and picked out balloons. Once they bought those and got some pictures taken, they headed on over to Liv's grave for the launch. After they all said something special there at the grave, they then released their balloons up to Livy, Jake, and Jordan. Once the balloons were up in the air, they just stood quietly and stared up at the skies as the balloons disappeared. I love it. Just love it!

On a side note, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I got on Facebook later that night. My mom posted something along the lines of being off just a beat...instead of lighting a candle, she did a balloon release, ha! I love it. I think the balloon release was way cooler if you ask me! ;)

With Liv's 1st Birthday/Angelversary coming up in December, I hope to do a balloon release -- if not a couple if we can't be there in Indy...one here in GA and one there in IN. I just love that Livy (and Jacob and Jordan) already received one on such a day as this. Below are the pictures from that day...

Here are a few of our angels' cousins with my Mom...

There at Liv's grave, saying a few words before the release...

There they go!

As they were leaving...

Thank you, Mom, for such an amazing gift to our three!

I'm hooked...

So, minus the mega preggo (who shouldn't have even been on the cruise due to NCL's restrictions on how far along you can be and still cruise) and the numerous infants (and toddlers) that vacationed alongside us on the cruise, it was a fantastic getaway! It was so nice to vacation in a way that we don't have to worry about how we're getting to our destination, or where our next meal should be, etc. To just wake up each day with a list of activities that we can partake in if we choose, a new city to explore, an assortment of restaurants (with unlimited food -- great for the hubby) to check out, and some form of entertainment on the stage that night...it's definitely the way to go! Halfway through our cruise, we were already looking at NCL's list of other cruise locations. Where should we go next? When I would mention to James two different locations -- using the word "or" between the two -- he would cut in with, "why don't we do both?" Sounds like a plan. I know, I'm game. Perhaps once we're settled in GA, we'll look into the possibility of such a vacation...

I will say, for us, it was the ultimate way of relaxing. We both get too antsy when we travel, so sitting on the same beach for an entire week with nothing to do but stare out at the water gets a bit too tiresome. Heck, we traveled down the entire Oregon coast, a good portion of the northern California coast, and back up the other side of both states in three days. That may sound like a ridiculously quick trip, but there wasn't a moment when we felt rushed. Maybe we get bored too quickly? After skimming the city of Ketchikan, AK in just a couple of hours (being completely satisfied and ready to head back to the ship), James reminded me of the scene in National Lampoon's Vacation. In this particular scene, Chevy Chase nods his head as he quickly scans the scenic area and just a few seconds later says, "Ok kids, let's go!" Maybe we're too much like that. Oh well.

Due to that Clark Griswold Syndrome that we seem to suffer from, it's nice that there is so much at our finger tips on the cruise ship, but yet so little stress added to it. There were a few times during our week that we did run into moments of not knowing what to do with ourselves, and would wander around aimlessly. However, they did a great job at providing nonstop entertainment of some kind. I suppose with the location that we chose, just staring at the scenery was entertainment enough. Heck, we were the only fools to stay out on the deck in the freezing weather at times. But, how could you not? The Alaskan frontier is breathtaking!

I suppose the amazing scenery was the reason behind my obsessive picture taking habit throughout the week -- or maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse behind taking so many pictures. We came away with over 1500 pictures from our trip. Now granted, we ended up deleting several due to trying to get the best shot and falling short many times -- like when trying to get that whale in action, etc. That's alright though. That's a perk that comes with digital photography, right? Oh, how I love it!

Anyways. I'm hooked, and would not be surprised if we end up on another cruise during our next block leave!

Since I haven't done so already, here are some of the pictures from our trip...

Enjoying the scenery...it was great. We were the only two on the sun deck at the time, so it was so quiet and peaceful -- that was until James started cracking jokes...

I think the fog may have actually added to the beauty...

What better way to spend your morning, than out here?

This is what resulted when boredom would set in (luckily, it didn't happen too often!)...

LOVED Juneau! There was so much history, not to mention the Mendenhall glacier! These first few shots were from our tour of the old mining parts of the town...

Then, here are the pictures as we hiked to the Mendenhall Glacier. Not only did we see the result of a beaver's actions, but a BEAR that was enjoying his salmon lunch about 15 feet away!

I think I could wake up to this everyday...

And what better way to explore the White Pass, than by train?

And let me just say...if you're in search of the world's best cupcake, Skagway must be on your list of places to hit. Sugar Mama's has it! Oh, and they have a pretty good brewery, too!

And what better way to spend our evening, than a peaceful sunset?

Man...Glacier Bay is something I won't ever forget. It was breathtaking. The sound of the ice breaking off was amazing!

You can tell just how cold that water was. Beautiful...

As we left Glacier Bay...

The wildlife totally made our day! I LOVE sea otters! The whales were pretty awesome too. Unfortunately, we seemed to always be at the wrong place at the wrong time and missed out on those show offs out there. We typically only saw a fin or two and the occasional blow hole. A few different couples told us about the whales they saw that were putting on a show for the crowd. How fun! Bummer that we missed it!

When we weren't on the deck soaking up the scenery, we were enjoying the many entertainers provided for us at the Stardust Theater. SharkBait was fantastic! I would recommend seeing them if you ever get the chance. I had remembered seeing them on Letterman awhile back, so I knew before their show that we were going to enjoy it...

As our vacation neared the end, the rain took hold. We were so incredibly fortunate to have as much sunshine as we did on our cruise, but by the time we arrived in Ketchikan, that was over with. As it turned out, Ketchikan didn't have too much to offer...some totem poles, Creek Street (which was definitely beautiful in its own right), and some pretty tastey carmel "Orca Corn"...

Victoria, BC was beautiful! Unfortunately, that Clark Griswold Syndrome took hold and we were done after a couple of hours. Of course, my first experience in Victoria may have had something to do with it...About 10 minutes after we arrived downtown, I slipped on the wet pavement and rolled down a hill. Yeah, James laughed hard and hoped for his sake (not mine, ha!) that no one witnessed the hilarious event. Soaked and muddy...not exactly the way I wanted to spend my evening out on the town.

But we made the best of it (after trying to clean off a little bit!)...

Overall, we absolutely LOVED the cruise and couldn't have asked for a better way to spend our post-deployment vacation!

However...On a small side note, we're definitely choosing a more adult-focused cruise line next time so as to avoid all of the babies. One of the awesome couples that we met recommended that we try Princess next time. Even though we loved our cruise and NCL, there were constant reminders of our sweet baby girl -- that we were missing tremendously -- everywhere we looked! Oddly enough, my mom said earlier today that she could tell in a few pictures (which I had posted on Facebook) that it showed on our outward appearance, too. I went back to look, in attempts of finding the pictures that she may have been talking about...Perhaps some of these?

I guess it's one of those things where you can't really tell unless it's a candid shot. I mean, who doesn't smile when they know a camera's pointed at them? It's easy to put on a fake smile (not to say all of our pictures are like that, because they're not!). It is true though. We were missing her. My mom was very thoughtful in her comments about it. Of course Livy was on our mind the entire trip. Heck, several times a day one of us would mention the fact that had things gone as they were supposed to, she would've been with us...enjoying the sights and spending time with her dad.

It's such a hard thing. Missing her, yet trying to enjoy our getaway. We met several couples on our vacation, and as we got to talking, they would *of course* ask if we had any children. There was always that pause. I mean, how do you answer that? No? Yes, but they're gone? Do you want to kill the atmosphere with a Debbie downer comment or just give the quick "no" and continue on? There was once where we found ourselves saying "no" rather quickly since it was such a brief conversation. We didn't feel the need to go into detail. Yet, after doing so, I felt like I was lying. We both did. Then with the next couple, we told them (as James typically tells people) that it's a complicated answer. That we've had three, but we've lost them all. That particular conversation allowed for the more in-depth answer, and we ended up elaborating upon their inquiry. Every situation's different though. As we were riding the bus to downtown Victoria, a couple asked us the dreaded question and we gave that same answer and man...talk about an awkward silence! They just froze. We tried to play it off, as we obviously weren't trying to make them feel sorry for us. We were just being honest. However, there was no salvaging that conversation after that...

I suppose the pain lingers on in so many different ways, and the reminders of our loss(es) never cease...

Wow, well there went a major tangent! I'm sure I've put half of you to sleep by now, so I suppose I better do the same. Bis morgen...