Friday, July 22, 2011

The Joy Of False Alarms...

Last night was one that left me with very little sleep. Why? It wasn't because of Sam's eating schedule. No, that may get me up a lot, but it wasn't the culprit. (And I wouldn't be frustrated if that was the reason I was up!) Instead, it was all due to that wonderful Angel Care Monitor. That puppy failed to detect Samuel five different times throughout the night. For those of you unfamiliar with such monitors, it detects Samuel's slightest movement and sets off a loud alarm if it fails to detect any. With doing this, it claims to help reduce the risk of SIDS -- helping us paranoid parents sleep a little better at night! So throughout the night, it claimed that Sam wasn't moving at all five different times. Yeah, that was fun. When the first alarm sounded, I raced to Sam's room to see if he was alright. Sure enough, he was sleeping peacefully right next to that loud alarm. With each time that it went off, less fear set in and more frustration. We clearly have to adjust that thing and change the sensitivity. For whatever reason, it's not detecting Sam like it has been over the past several weeks which takes away the possibility of a peaceful sleep. Good times, I tell you! Technology is great when it works, a major pain in the rear when it doesn't...

After such a crazy night, I debated whether or not to attend a Mommy and Me group that I was invited to. I knew I would possibly be running on fumes, but Sam and I decided to truck on and go ahead and go. I'm glad we did! It turned out to be a nice morning with other local moms and their kids -- a few of which I somewhat knew already. Sam, of course, slept through the outing, even while in the arms of one of my friends...

I must say...while it was great getting together with other moms, it was a bit weird to some extent. This whole having a healthy, living child thing is slowly sinking in. Of course, to those that don't know me, it's assumed that Samuel is my first and only child which is always a difficult topic to address. I constantly debate with myself whether or not I should just smile and let them assume he is, go into the whole discussion of our past, or just tell them briefly that Sam has older siblings in Heaven, etc. Any option other than letting them make their own assumptions leads to awkward moments and a Debbie Downer type of conversation and who wants that upon first meeting someone? Of the moms that I met for the first time, I told one briefly about our history while the rest just got to make their own assumptions. Wouldn't you know it...the one that I opened up to about our three angels...she, herself, has gone through a lot of infertility issues. Not only did she have to seek assistance to have her adorable 15 month old, but she unfortunately miscarried a baby just one month ago. How horribly sad! As you may have guessed, our conversation led in the direction of sharing our stories and our plans for the future, etc. I must was definitely nice being able to share our stories with each other while staring at our healthy little boys vs. the many years of doing so while yearning for the day that we would possibly get there.

I'm so glad we have this little man...

Here's hoping no more crazy false alarms are in our near future!


  1. I don't know how, but I've never heard of the Angel Care Monitor. It sounds neat, but it sucks that you had that many false alarms. Hope you're able to get it working correctly!

    One of my friends attends the Mommy and Me group meetings here(I'm guessing there is only one group...not too sure, though?) You may have seen her. Her name is Crissy, and she has a little girl named Madelyn. I'm glad you were able to open up to one of the girls and be able to share your stories while holding your boys...that's just amazing!

    Oh, and the picture of Samuel is so cute. I love his shirt!

  2. What a horrible night! I can only imagine how frustrated and tired you must have been but I am so glad that they were just false alarms!!

    Glad you enjoyed the Mommy and Me group. I imagine it will always be a little awkward for us in those types of social situations. I am glad to hear that you found someone to connect with!

  3. Oh joy...I get to look forward to false alarms! We also bought an angel care monitor for a little bit of my sanity. Adam is also building his own video monitoring system. :)

    I'm glad you went to the group even though you were tired. I too still struggle with how to answer questions and today while having a pedicure, I just let them assume whatever they wanted. They didn't ask any questions though.

  4. Sorry you had such a long and stressful night! Angel Care is wonderful, but the false alarms are maddening! There is nothing like that sick empty knot in your stomach when you think something horrible has happened. I hope changing the sensitivity setting will help.
    I am glad that the group went so well. I wonder if the awkwardness of being a BLM amongst non-loss families will ever go away. :(
    I am so thankful that you have little brother Samuel in your arms! <3