Saturday, November 27, 2010

A Day Of Thanks...

So while we weren't exactly enthused about this recent holiday, I have no (major) complaints in regards to how the day went. We spent many hours at the house of a coworker, allowing us to get to know them a little bit...

While we were there, Livy came up briefly, as did the Spud. I didn't bring them up, but since James had previously filled in his coworker of our situation, a few comments were made. It all started when two wives were talking about being so glad to be done with diapers (in a fairly disgusted way), then one said to me, "But you'll be dealing with that soon!" All I could say was, "We'll see. With our history, who knows..." I was trying to be brief so as not to open up a can of worms and start a whole discussion about it. On the contrary...it ended up leading to a discussion about miscarriages and losses in general -- not exactly what I was aiming for, but I guess I asked for it. Oh well. Luckily, there was a distraction eventually and the topic changed and never really went back. Some people seem to equate the loss of a child to losing your drivers license (or something else ridiculously minor) -- like it's no big deal -- so I would prefer not talking about it. Ugh. Anyways...

On another note...

If I were to follow the typical response to this holiday where people announce what they're thankful for...

I'd have to say I'm thankful for the most amazing husband a girl could have...3 angels that made me a mom multiple times over and taught me the meaning of unconditional love...amazing friends and family that have been here to support us through such tragic times...and most recently, the Spud. While I'm still very cautious with my excitement just yet, there is hope...

Speaking of supportive family...I was reminded earlier today -- yet again -- of how much our family loves and supports us...

My mom and sister took some of our nephews to go visit Livy earlier this afternoon, and later sent me pictures since we couldn't be there. I loved seeing them -- so very touching to see these sweet little boys pay respect to our baby girl (and our other two). While visiting, they placed three butterflies in Liv's basket, then walked around and visited some of the other angels in Babyland. Seeing the pictures just makes me want to give those sweet boys a huge hug!

Here are the butterflies in Liv's basket...

Alex and Ben...

Judah...

Ben (again)...

Judah and Josh (the shorty behind Judah) looking at Liv's grave while Ben read the headstone of a baby behind Livy...

After visiting Liv, Alex asked his mom if he could see the other "kids." So they walked around Babyland and visited some others...

So sweet. This was the first time Alex and Josh visited Liv, and I'm glad that they were able to. Alex is the same nephew that drew that sweet picture of Livy's grave while we were visiting him in PA. (Here's that story) I'm glad that after hearing about her lots and asking about her, he was able to visit her for himself.

As they were leaving the cemetery, my mom said that the 3 older boys (Ben, Alex and Judah) all said together, "Goodbye, Olivia..." and soon after that, Josh (the youngest among the ones that visited) said, "Goodbye, Olivia. I love you..." Talk about melting your heart. Those sweet boys!

It's moments like that, that help ease the holiday season. Hearing about their visit and seeing the pictures totally made my day (and weekend!)...

4 comments:

  1. Those boys are melting my heart too. I just love finding out that someone has visited the garden where Jacob is buried. It means so much and I don't think the people who visit even know what a difference it makes.

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  2. So glad that someone was able to visit Livy when you could not... That must have made your day. Hope all is well with you always.

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  3. Brought tears to my eyes. I'm glad your family and nephews remembered your three angels and got to visit Olivia.

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  4. oh those sweet sweet boys! it brought tears to my eyes when they said goodbye to Liv.
    I know you are nervous. I know with you history of pregnancy loss, you don't want to get attatched, but please, embrace this little life, Spud. I wrote a blog about fear a while back...look under august 8th "No more Fear". it was based off of an amazing sermon from church one day that really opened my eyes to the fear I was having of ttc again. I care so much about you and your family, and you, more than anyone i know, DESERVES to enjoy this pregnancy and have a healthy child. You may not have control over the later, but you can try to enjoy! My prayers are with you, james, and spud as you go through these next 7.5 months!
    Hugs on Love
    Erin

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