Sunday, May 9, 2010

In which I give myself a migraine...

So I should know better than to surround myself in public places surrounded by babies, small children, and super pregnant women. Avoiding situations like that would only be logical at this stage in the healing process. But do I listen to reason? Apparently not.

While visiting with a good friend for the first time in a LONG time, we decided to hit up a local museum. It sounded like a great idea at the time. She told me about an interesting exhibit where they display actual babies throughout the different stages in a pregnancy. Apparently, all of the bodies of these sweet babies were donated after either accidents or death by natural causes.

After hearing about it, I immediately became intrigued by the sound of this particular exhibit. I always find it interesting as to how various pregnancy books differ on the size of a baby at each stage. Our loss at 7 weeks most definitely differed from the books, so this exhibit sounded very appealing -- granted, sort of morbid, but whatever.

When we started looking at the very early stages, my friend and I both wondered how they even obtained the babies. I mean, a baby is so incredibly tiny at 4 or 5 weeks gestation! It was very interesting though to see each stage, as the 21 1/2 week baby looked just like Jake did, etc. It's amazing how developed they are, yet not quite viable at that stage. Seeing the exhibit brought back many memories of Jake, as we don't have pictures of him. All we have is what we remember and what we wrote down, so seeing a little baby at about the same size as him was wild.

Overall, the museum was very fascinating. However, I should've considered the fact that we were planning on doing this on a holiday weekend -- when families are out in droves. That part of the experience was a bit rough. In fact, by the time we finished dinner, I had a full blown migraine. I know what caused it...the same thing that causes every migraine I've had since we lost Liv. I look forward to the day when this junk isn't so hard to be around. It's life though and can't really be avoided unless I lock myself up in a closet. Hum...not such a bad idea until James gets home!

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