Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Happy Birthday (In Heaven), Olivia!

It was 2 years ago on this day that we last held our daughter, Olivia Hayden, in our arms. That day will forever have significant meaning to us and we will forever honor her on her day. I really can't believe it's been 2 years. I mean, seriously. When I say that out loud, it feels like it was so long ago, but yet it feels like just yesterday that we last kissed her. Oh, how we miss her. How I wish Samuel was able to know her better than just through our words and playing with our Olivia Bear. I have to say though...having Samuel in our arms makes the pain of this Angelversary just a tad bit easier. It still sucks. It's still painful. I still miss her like crazy and feel anger over the whole is definitely different this year. In the midst of sadness, we can look at Sam and see that big grin with the drool dripping down. Oh, that sweet boy. He definitely eases the pain a bit and for that, I'm thankful.

With that being said, Samuel participated in honoring his big sister today. After staying up late last night baking a cake for Olivia, Sam posed for pictures with it this morning, ha. He also helped me release balloons in her honor. Sweet Sam. I'm so glad he's here with us...

Note to anyone that has thought about making a fondant cake, but is hesitant about diving into that's not as hard as I once thought. This was my first experience with fondant and it now has me considering the idea of making Samuel's cake next June. I suppose we'll see if I feel up to it when the time comes. I'm definitely glad that I was able to make one for Olivia. It's one of the few things that we could do for her...

Sweet Sam and our Olivia Bear...

To go along with Olivia's day, we received a sweet little gift (an awesome smelling candle) on our doorstep two days ago from some sweet friends -- reminding us that Livy is being remembered on her day. So, of course, I couldn't help but light it all day long -- I suppose you can see I finally updated our entry way with pictures of Sam, while still keeping Olivia's picture up.

Then, of course, before the sun went down, we released two balloons in Olivia's honor. Clearly, we're stuck on the chocolate brown/green mix since those were the colors of her "going home" outfit that she wore at the hospital. I suppose we'll always do those colors for her...

Samuel helped...

But then he didn't want to let go...

And off they went...

Oh, how we miss you, Livy!

And before I go, I just have to say...

For those of you that recognized Olivia on her day, thank you! It means the world to us when people mention her, acknowledge her, and simply tell us that they're thinking about her. She will forever be a part of our family and will always be missed...


  1. I'm so glad that you guys have Samuel here for Liv's 2nd birthday; I'm sure that it helped ease the pain a bit. As usual, I love all the pictures. The cake and balloon release look beautiful. It's so sweet(in a sad/bittersweet kind of way) to see Samuel holding his sister's balloon and playing with her bear. I hope yesterday was gentle on you guys and I'm continuing to think about you as this month goes on. <3

  2. Happy birthday Olivia!
    Her cake turned out really cute:-) I love Sam's little brother shirt too. He's totally precious!
    You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know the days after are hard, too.

  3. beautiful pictures, as always, and a beautiful cake. so glad you had samuel with you for olivia's birthday.

  4. I am just catching up on blogs. I have been thinking of you and Olivia all week. You made her birthday beautiful and I'm sure she loved it. I'm so glad Sam is here this year for it.

    (I am so impressed with that cake! I would have thought you had worked with fondant many times already!)

  5. Happy Birthday to Olivia! I am so glad that you had such a special day for your little girl. I love all of the pictures!

  6. Happy Heavenly Birthday Olivia! What a special day for you guys. I love Sam's pic with Olivia bear, his expression was so gentle and poignant. Send that cake my way! It's so pretty. :)