I couldn't help but think of how it is now much easier to read these verses. I'm on the other side of things now. I've gone through all of the anger, grief, loss, etc. and now have my sweet rainbow. The struggles aren't gone, but having sweet Sam has definitely softened the blow and it is now much more doable to read these verses without getting angry. Okay, not *as* angry. They still bring insane emotions and some bring tears, but they're bittersweet tears...sadness mixed with happiness...grieving what we've lost while rejoicing in what we (now) have.
Then there are the songs...even more than the verses were the three songs that still bring tears if I hear them. I pulled them up on YouTube while searching for these verses for Rachelle and gosh...let the flood gates open! I don't know that I'll ever be able to hear the song, "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman without getting emotional -- let alone, the other two! ("Your Hands" by JJ Heller and "How He Loves" by David Crowder Band) Even at church, I have to hold back the emotions. I must say...it's nice hearing that song now vs. before June 7, 2011. Even while I was pregnant with Sam, I remember singing that song at church and just thinking...I really hope that we can experience the other end of things...just as the song says, "There will be an end to these troubles..." I always thought to myself...I sure HOPE so!!!! Because, heck...what if there's not? What then? It's nice to finally hear that song and think, yes...there was an end...and we're there...we have Sam. We will forever miss Jacob, Jordan, and Olivia, but we finally have that sweet rainbow in our arms -- Our arms are no long empty and the joy of a healthy child is something we have finally been able to experience. Thank God!
So now that you've read the craziness going through my head right now, here are the verses and songs that came to mind upon being asked by my sis...
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
1 Listen to my prayer, O God.
Do not ignore my cry for help!
2 Please listen and answer me,
for I am overwhelmed by my troubles.
4 My heart pounds in my chest.
The terror of death assaults me.
5 Fear and trembling overwhelm me,
and I can’t stop shaking.
6 Oh, that I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!
7 I would fly far away
to the quiet of the wilderness.
16 But I will call on God,
and the Lord will rescue me.
17 Morning, noon, and night
I cry out in my distress,
and the Lord hears my voice.
18 He ransoms me and keeps me safe
from the battle waged against me,
though many still oppose me.
19 God, who has ruled forever,
will hear me and humble them.
22 Give your burdens to the Lord,
and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
23b ...but I am trusting you to save me.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 28: 1-2, 8-9
To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place.
The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I'm sticking with God. I say it over and over again - He's all I've got left. He proves to be good to me and to all who passionately wait and diligently seek Him. It's a good thing to quietly hope for help from God.
1 Samuel 1:27
I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.