Just when I think I'm starting to kind of come around in handling the loss of Liv, I hit a roadblock. Earlier today, I finally got out to run a few much needed errands. As luck may have it, some of the places that I had to go to were in the same area as my OB's office. That, in itself, made me not want to go. In fact, I almost didn't. I start to relive it all by just driving over there. Freaking sucks. I would much rather continue living the hermit lifestyle than go over there -- or anywhere else that causes the memories of that awful week to be fresh again. Avoidance obviously isn't exactly a healthy route, but I'll take it for now -- at least until James gets home.
On a brighter note, this is how I found Oba earlier...
It's hard not to smile when you see those ears and that pitiful face.
i think it's part of the healing process. you taught me that. to visit the places that hurt--both literally and emotionally. it sucks. nothing about this season is what anyone would wish for anyone else. but you are doing it, priscilla. keep going.
ReplyDeletei often think of hannah hungard's "hinds feet on high places"--the character-Much Afraid-walks hand in hand with her companions, Sorrow and Suffering to trudge the mountain and get to the top. or the movie "meet joe black" where Claire becomes intimate with Death. sorry i think a lot in symbolism. we are operating on a plain of sorrow--most people will always operate on a plain of normalcy....and i think as time passes, we'll get closer to there but never normal. my hope is that you embrace where you are and your companions in this season. you'll get through today. and when tomorrow comes, you'll get through that. and the next day. and the day after.
i love you.