Monday, October 17, 2011

October 15th...

So, while there's plenty that I could talk about, I must mention what October 15th means to those of us with little angels in Heaven...

For those of you that are unaware...In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. The 15th of October is the official Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day -- recognized worldwide. This is the day when we (angel moms and dads) ask that you light a candle at 7pm to join in the worldwide Wave of Light. For those of us that have experienced such a horrific loss (or losses in our case), this day is a very special one. It's a day to honor our sweet babies that were taken way, way too soon. A day when those of us in these particular shoes can come together and recognize them. When this day comes each year, I can't help but think of this quote...

"A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is..." Neugeboren 1976

So for those of us locally that will forever live with this great loss, my husband and I decided to host a balloon release on the 15th. We did it through our local Face2Face group and ended up having a great turnout (and absolutely perfect weather!). There were some of us that are veterans, while others that are incredibly fresh in their painful loss. When we got there, we each wrote a little note to our angels, tied it to our balloon(s), and then briefly shared our story. It was so bittersweet. There were a few rainbow babies there -- reminding us all that there is hope. Yet, I know had we done this last year, I probably would've refused to see that hope. Either way, it was heartbreaking hearing some of the stories that were being told for the first time -- new moms and dads going through this, trying their best to stay strong while fighting through the tears. So many loved babies that are no longer with us, but are forever loved...


As the balloons were released...


There were two that just weren't ready to go...


Considering that this was the first time that we were able to go through this day with a hint of hope, I must say...it was much easier. It's still painful. We will forever miss our 3 -- Jake, Jordan, and Livy -- but holding Sam in our arms definitely helps. I'm so glad that little man is here with us, happy and healthy!!!


On another note, but most certainly related to October 15th, the hospital in which we delivered Samuel at hosted a wonderful ceremony earlier this evening in honor of those lost. They titled it, "A Loss Not Forgotten: A Service of Remembrance and Hope." It was a beautiful ceremony, honoring our sweet babies. James, Samuel and I attended it with two other families (and their rainbows). As part of the ceremony, they offered different colored roses for each type of loss. So, of course, there we were picking up our three roses. It was a silent, yet powerful way of representing what each of us had been through. We listened as a rabbi spoke (we really appreciated what he had to say!), and then for each type of loss that we had been through, we put a rose in the vase and picked up a yellow rose to keep -- a symbol of hope. In all of our years of going through such pain, we've never attended a ceremony like what we went to tonight. I'm glad that we went and who knows...maybe we will again next year...

Here is a picture of our hope...

4 comments:

  1. Great pics Priscilla and James! Love and hugs to you. Rachel

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  2. What a beautiful day to celebrate and remember Olivia, Jacob, and Jordan. I had candles burning for them on the 15th. <3
    I am so thankful for our bundles of hope! <3

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