How He Loves...

So, since moving here to Columbus, we have found interest in two different churches. One is large like what we're used to and has lots to offer, while the other is very small, but has a very modern feel (which I love). We have attended both several times and over the past week, James has mentioned interest in going back to the first (larger) one for awhile. I have a feeling we'll be floating around between the two depending on our mood. Who said you have to be loyal to one? I suppose we'll see in time if one sticks more than the other. Either way, we went back to the large church yesterday and I absolutely loved it!

As I have mentioned in the past, James and I have both struggled with attending church on a regular basis since losing Olivia back in Dec. '09. Our grief and sadness just didn't agree with the constant smiles and cheery attitudes of those around us. We still were interested in hearing the pastor's message (and even got the podcast to our home church in Indy!), but we struggled with the general atmosphere of the weekly services. As a result, we didn't start back up on a serious basis until after finding out we were pregnant was Samuel. It was around that time that we both agreed that it was time for us to start going back. It was still hard at first, and I remember making excuse after excuse as to why I didn't want to go or why I didn't like that particular church when really...it wasn't that specific church...it was my own inner struggle. That was part of the reason why we kept hunting and I never felt satisfied with one church in particular.

Well, that inner struggle isn't as strong at this point -- especially as we edge further along in this pregnancy with Sam! Now it's been just been a matter of finding the right place for us on all levels. With these two churches that we've found interest in, they're so different from each other that I don't know that they can be compared. As a result, we may just visit both off and on.

We spent yesterday morning at the much larger church and thoroughly enjoyed everything about it. The sermon was great, and even better was the worship! During that time, they sang a David Crowder song that I absolutely love -- "How He Loves." David Crowder is my absolutely favorite Christian artist, and James can attest to the fact that his album, "Illuminate," is what got me through those first several months after losing Jake back in '03. I remember playing it over and over and OVER again and finding comfort in those words. Even when I dropped James off for his first deployment, that cd was in car comforting me. I sang the words as I cried on the drive home, knowing that it would be a year before the hubs would be back. That band has always been a great sense of comfort and encouragement, and I could absolutely kick myself for totally spacing it when they came to town for a concert a couple weeks ago!

Anyways...so back to the worship session at church yesterday...over the past several months of attending church on a regular basis again, worship has never really hit me. I've just gone through the motions and listened for the most part, but never felt it or got into it. That changed when they started playing the notes to "How He Loves." I knew immediately what was to come and it brought a smile to my face. I didn't need the words on the screen, as I knew them by heart. I can't describe the feeling when a song like that comes on...I suppose it was just the right song at the right time. Thank you, Cascade Hills, for that.

For those unfamiliar with the song, here's the music video that goes to it...

Just thinking about Crowder brings me back to my first semester at IU in '01 when I first heard his music during a praise and worship session at the church James and I attended. "All That I Can Say" is still one of my absolute favorite songs...

So, yeah...A great morning at church, and we left feeling refreshed. While heading out, we noticed the signs for some of the Bible studies that they offered and commented to each other when we saw that one of them pertained to grief. Upon seeing that, we both agreed that we should look into what all they have to offer and possibly join one. We miss the Bible study that we attended on a weekly basis before Liv died (like everything else, that stopped after the tragedy struck). I suppose we'll see what happens in the near future...

In the meantime, I finally got a couple of pictures for this week in the pregnancy while we were soaking up the nice weather yesterday evening...

23w2d...

Apparently Oba was a bit shy and chose to hide behind me...

Oba's standard pose...mid-lick...